NSU Horizons Fall 2018

16 NSU HORIZONS according to the U.S. Census Bureau. “More people are delaying marriage and marrying at older ages.” Livingston credits these changes to women completing college and starting careers before settling with one partner. “Research shows that there are educational differences, too, in the likelihood of marriage. These trends have been emerging, particularly in the last 20 years.” Both men and women with bachelor’s degrees are more likely to be married than those with only a high school diploma. Twenty-five years ago, more than 60 percent of adults aged 25 and older were married, regardless of their educational attainment level. According to Pew’s analysis of 2015 U.S. Census Bureau data, that rate has held steady among those with a four-year college degree. But only 50 percent of people with a high school diploma or less were married—a significant change. Furthermore, those with a college education are more likely to remain married longer, according to Pew Research Center analysis. Although the analysis doesn’t provide sufficient data to show exactly why, the research suggests it’s mostly tied to economics. College-educated people may feel they are more financially secure than those without a degree. More Problems, Less Shame As many relationship statistics and stressors have changed, so too have views of marriage and family therapy. People are more accepting of therapy as a way to get to the root of relationship problems and make positive changes. “There’s less of a stigma about seeking counseling,” whether individual or couples, according to David Kaplan, chief professional officer at the American Counseling Association (ACA), and formerly the president of the Marriage and Family Division of ACA. The American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy (AAMFT) states that since 1970, there has been a 50-fold increase in the number of marriage and family therapists, and estimates that at any given time they are treating more than 1.8 million people. But the exact number of couples seeking therapy is hard to pin down, says Kaplan. “It is really difficult to get very specific data because so much of family and couple’s counseling is done in private practice, and they aren’t required to keep data.” Kaplan said that university clinics are an excellent source for couples seeking counseling because most insurances don’t cover the cost of couples counseling and clinics are often affordable. Keeping up with the changing state of interpersonal relationships does require marriage and family therapists to have a distinct set of skills and to keep those skills fresh, says Michael D. Reiter, Ph.D., a professor in the Department of Family Therapy at CAHSS, who has authored books used to train clinicians. “The basics are the same, however, looking at the process of how two people interact with one another is essential in couples counseling,” said Reiter. “No matter what the relationship, whether it’s two people of the same gender or opposite genders, people from same or different religions or cultures, what stays the same is that people interact with each other in patterned ways.” Those patterns can be good predictors as to which couples will stay together and which will get divorced, according to Kaplan, who cited researcher John Gottman’s studies on marital stability and relationships. Gottman is known for predicting divorce with more than 90-percent accuracy. “Happy marital partners fight just as much as those who want a divorce,” Kaplan says. “What Gottman found is that it wasn’t the fighting, but the amount of positive or negative statements that were part of the relationship.” After watching thousands of couples argue in his lab, Gottman was able to identify specific negative communication patterns. So if the old axiom ‘happy wife, happy life’ doesn’t work, what will help keep a relationship together? According to Kaplan, “Partners should say five positive things a day to every one negative statement. Gottman’s magic ratio was 5 to 1, and the closer couples get to that, the more likely they are to be in a happy marriage.” ¨ 1 S RIZ S Family Therapy Clinic – Brief Therapy Institute (BTI) Maltz Building 3301 College Avenue Fort Lauderdale, Florida 33314 (954) 262-3030 continued from previous page