Florida School Toolkit for K-12 Educators to Prevent Suicide

not distracted and we give our child individual and full attention. Hopefully, our children will share with us the frustration and challenges they are facing. If you remain concerned about their behavior with school, social life, and family then I suggest it is time to obtain private counseling. I am often asked, “Should it be up to my child whether or not they go to counseling?” My response is, “Absolutely not! Your 14-year-old is not in a good position to determine whether or not he or she needs help.” Simply say, “We are going to get counseling. Would you rather have a male or a female counselor?” Secondly, you could say, “I am happy to go with you and be in the meeting with you and your counselor, if you like. But, going is not up to you given my level of concern about the behaviors you are exhibiting.” I’d like to also take a moment to emphasize I strongly believe that where multiple youth suicides have occurred, that all guns in homes need to be securely locked up. I’m aware of numerous situations where the parents believed that their child didn’t know where they kept the gun, didn’t know the combination to the safe, and didn’t know where the bullets were stored. I am aware of tragedies that did result. Please, take charge and secure firearms because many children have been exposed to suicide and that alone is a risk factor. Two: The most dangerous activity your child engages in is riding in a car and driving a car. Make sure that you follow the graduated driving laws for your state and be aware that 16-year olds die three times more often that 18-year olds in car accidents and that is usually the result of inexperience. For example, they are less likely to be familiar with driving after dark and can be easily distracted when friends are in the car. Take charge and model wearing your seat belt. Never drive while intoxicated. Never talk or text on your phone while you drive your car. If you do these dangerous things, then your child may do the same. The most frequent and many crises that I have responded to throughout my career have been tragic car accidents that took the lives of our children. These car accidents could have been prevented. 16. How can a parent foster a culture of compassion and kindness with their elementary age child? E merson had a great quote: “What we do speaks so loudly to our children that when we talk to them, they cannot hear us.” His quote certainly stressed the importance of modeling. That modeling is especially important for compassion and kindness. As parents, ask yourselves, “How do I treat my partner in my home? How do I treat my neighbors? How do I respond when I interact with law enforcement when I’ve been stopped for speeding or having a taillight out? How do I respond in a teacher conference at school? How do I respond if I’m in the assistant principal’s office because my child has exhibited misbehavior?” These questions set the stage for our children. I believe strongly, when we model compassion, caring for everyone—regardless of his or her sexual orientation or his or her religious affiliation—that we are setting the tone for children to express kindness and compassion for everyone. A suggestion might be that parents ask that a task force be formed that would include school personnel who would look at kindness and compassion at school. When we address these subjects, we must also bring up the topic of bullying. It is very important that schools support the victim and make it clear that the victim does not deserve this and the school will get it stopped and be there for them every step of the way. The bully needs to be told, “Here are the consequences for today . . . if this behavior continues, then the consequences will escalate. It will not be kept a secret. All the other staff members will be told about your bullying behavior, and they all will be watching.” 149