COM Outlook Winter 2021

NOVA SOUTHEASTERN UNIVERSITY | 25 First-Person Essays BY BHARGAVI MADHU (VEE) healing cultural insensitivity scars I sat next to my classmates at lunch and pulled out a bowl of yellow turmeric rice from my lunch box. As soon as I started to move the spoonful of rice to my mouth, I heard “Ew, what is that?” I did not know how to respond. Then again, I never knew how to respond. Silently, I tucked away the Tupperware my mother packed with love back into my lunch box and watched my friends eat more acceptable food. I endured this through elemen- tary, middle, and high school. I refused to eat at some point because I was afraid of crass comments and cursed my parents for packing exotic foods, putting the blame in the wrong place. When the insensitive comments were not involving food, they usually devolved into humiliating questions that involved topics stemming from religious and cultural stereotypes. Throughout the years, similar incidents occurred, leaving lasting scars that were hard to overcome. Besides starving myself for accep- tance, I often found myself pretend- ing to go along with demeaning jokes about my cultural identity for approval. Due to the scrutiny I received growing up, I often felt that every one of my actions reflected upon an entire race. I was no longer Vee the individu- al, but Vee the Indian whose actions and words decided the fate for the next Indian people interacted with after me. This often resulted in feel- ing an invisible pressure that forced me to act in a more conforming way, further deepening the fissure in the identity crisis I was facing. As an adult, I refused to let these experiences keep me jaded. I worked hard to overcome my cul- tural insecurities and internalized racism and built a resilient person- ality that was proud of my identity. It is an easier task when you live in a society that is more culturally accepting than in one where yoga was unheard of and vegetarianism meant a form of dieting. As a society, we have made great progress in accepting and understanding those who are different from us. However, in light of recent national events, I cannot help but remember that under the shimmering surface, there lie the beasts of deep-rooted prejudice and discrimination. By sharing experi- ences in publications such as COM Outlook , we can start meaningful discussions to make our country a safe, inclusive place. Bhargavi Madhu (Vee) is a second-year KPCOM student. By sharing experiences in publications such as COM Outlook , we can start meaningful discussions to make our country a safe, inclusive place.