COM Outlook Winter 2021

NOVA SOUTHEASTERN UNIVERSITY | 21 First-Person Essays BY BRYCE SEBADE, M.S. don ' t dull the rainbows A ccording to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, compared to their heterosexual peers, LGBT youth are almost five times more likely to have attempted suicide. I have been lucky enough to not have been burdened by any mental health issues, but I have experienced discrimination. During the first weekend of June 2018, I made the three-hour drive from Omaha, Nebraska, to Kansas City, Missouri, to celebrate Pride Month with my best friend Zach. I was finally going to my first pride experience as an out gay man. The confidence and freedom I felt could not be ruined. My first pride experience was one of excitement and a sense of belonging. I never knew there were so many people like me, especially in the Midwest. I saw rainbows throughout the festival and people of every size, shape, and color. Everyone from any background was welcome to spread as much love as possible. As the festival died down, Zach and I decided to explore the queer nightlife in the area. We found ourselves dancing and having the best time listening to prideful tracks in each of the bars. As we walked out of the gay neighborhood, we laughed and exchanged our favorite moments of the night, holding hands and feeling invincible. It was at this moment that someone in a stopped car decided to roll down the window. Expecting words of encouragement, we instead heard someone shout an expletive followed by a common gay slur. We were crushed. I felt a mix- ture of hurt, confusion, and anger. Why would someone say some- thing so hurtful? We brushed the comment aside, gripped each other’s hands tighter, and kept walking. That encounter tarnished the beautiful day we had just experienced, but we weren’t going to let it get us down. However, less than a block later, someone in another car yelled the same gay slur. We were speechless. What did we do to deserve this hate? The rest of the walk home was one of silence. We were numb from disbelief and hurt, because we had never experienced this kind of hate. The next day, we laughed it off and did not really think much of it. On my drive home, however, it really hit me. These words were said to directly hurt and demean Zach and me. They came from a place of hate and intolerance. If I hadn’t been in a confident and out place, this could have pushed me deeper into the closet, into a negative mental space, or—even worse—to suicide. That 2018 incident has been the only time I have had to deal with discrimination, but I’m one of the lucky ones. This happens every day, and to people who may not be in the mental state to handle these horrible words. Hate like this must be stopped before it dulls all the rainbows. Bryce Sebade is a second-year KPCOM student. What did we do to deserve this hate?