COM Outlook Winter 2020

34 | DR. KIRAN C. PATEL COLLEGE OF OSTEOPATHIC MEDICINE STUDENT Perspectives STUDENT PERSPECTIVES Father/Daughter Cancer Diagnoses Build Resilience BY EMMA C. HALL “Not so fast,” my dad said to me as he delivered his favorite joke’s punch line. We nervously laughed as we sat on a bench in the lobby of Johns Hopkins Hospital. We were there to see my endocrinol- ogist oncologist after my thyroid cancer diagnosis. My dad had also been diagnosed with his own cancer just days before, and his condition was worsening daily. Little did I know then that hospice would come the next week, and that he would not live more than 30 days after he received his diagnosis. Being a veterinarian, he understood that his condition was serious. Sitting on the lobby bench, however, he also understood that the only medicine we both needed at the time was laughter. I had recently graduated from college with no background or intention to enter the medical profession. Nevertheless, I was about to get one of the most difficult and life-defining lessons. The next few weeks were a whirlwind and, quite honestly, I don’t remember it all. I do, however, remember my last impressions and conversations with my dad. His demeanor had changed to one of peace and acceptance as he quickly deteriorated. And while I was nervous for him and myself, one last talk made me feel at ease, too. My dad told me to trust in life and to be strong. I was shocked that, as he was dying, he was actually comforting us. If he was scared, he never showed it. If he was in pain, he never displayed it. Years later, I still have that trust, and I have learned to let my inner strength surprise me. This last conversation showed me the meaning of fortitude and that, even in our weakest days, everyone has an inherent resilience to not only persevere, but thrive through some of life’s toughest challenges. Three weeks later, after he had passed away, I sat in the same hospital wearing a cotton gown as the anesthesiologist reviewed my paperwork for surgery. I still remember the physician’s calming voice and words of encouragement after I began cry- ing in the middle of his history and physical. I undoubtedly showed little appreciation then, but have reflected greatly upon it since. Looking back, I am so thankful he was kind and understanding dur- ing one of my more vulnerable times. In class, we are lectured on the osteopathic model of thinking and how to keep the whole patient’s body, mind, and spirit in our treatment plans. And while few of us have yet to face a hysterical patient in a pre-op gown, the time is undoubtedly approaching where we will all need to garner the compassion and humility to address what may be some of our worst personal fears. Now, almost seven years later, I am able to return to these memories to find motivation from the strengths and weaknesses I witnessed on both sides of the Laugh, Cry, Live “Medical school is hard— everyone knows that. But remembering your moti- vation will lighten the pressing burden.” —EMMA C. HALL +